HOW TO OBTAIN YOUR GOD-GIVEN PARTNER | Prayer Strategies For Singles by Dr. D.K. Olukoya

HOW TO OBTAIN YOUR GOD-GIVEN PARTNER

MARRIAGE

Marriage, has become so bastardized in this modern age, that many people have given-up the idea of achieving an excellent marriage.

Homes are breaking up at an alarming rate. Divorce rate has reached an all-time high. More and more people are making up their mind never to get married, simply because they believe that marriage no longer works.

A lot of people have been married times without number. Others have decided to give birth to children without accepting the responsibility of marriage. Some even decide to live with a man or a woman of their choice as long as the relationship works.

Funny enough, some people have tried to banish marriage from their thoughts. If we look at the mess which marriage has become, we are likely to conclude that the situation is awfully bad. However, all right thinking people know that it is not wise to look at marriage the way man has made it. Rather, we should look at marriage the way God made it.

Marriage is God’s idea. God had a beautiful idea when He created the marriage institution. It is a divinely ordained institution. Just like everything which God made, marriage was designed to be a glorious and blissful experience. In God’s programme, marriage is the best thing that can ever happen to man. It embodies the epitome of God’s desire for His Children.

It is God’s intention to grant His people a foretaste of what to expect In heaven through the institution of marriage.

A happy home is a little heaven on earth. It is the demonstration of the possibilities of faith and grace.

Through marriage, the highest ideals of the Christian faith are relished and cherished by all.

Apart from salvation, it is the greatest grace which man can enjoy.

A home that is established by God is greater and higher than anything which man has ever attempted to create or establish.

Marriage is the beginning and the end of life. It is the center of human existence and the school of experience.

God is the architect, the planner and the builder of marriage. The Bible says marriage is honourable. When two people who love and honour the Lord are brought together in holy matrimony with a decision to make God the central focus of their lives, such people will surely experience, enjoy and attain an excellent marriage. In the words of the scripture, they will enjoy and experience what eyes have never seen, ears have never heard and what has never entered the heart of man. Their experience can only be described in superlative language.

Beloved, I have tried to describe God’s perfect will for your marriage but I am not going to pretend that all is well with every Christian marriage today.

THE DEVIL’S ATTACK ON MARRIAGES

The devil has attacked the institution of marriage more than any other thing on earth. He, as it were, has taken his headquarters to the home. He has mustered all his forces against the home. He has an array of various groups of soldiers against Christian as well as non-Christian homes.

What you may be going through now may not be God’s perfect will for you. But the fact that the home has been attacked shows us the importance which God as well as Satan have placed on it.

Some people ask me, “G. O., why is my home attacked?” The reasons are not far-fetched. The devil is attacking your marriage because he knows that if that area of your life is settled then the battle would be easy for you. That is why, he has concentrated his energy towards giving you more problems in that area than you can cope with. He knows the prospects that lie ahead for you. That is why, he is standing by and fighting relentlessly against you in that area.

The battles you have experienced-so far should not make you give up. Rather, you should turn them to challenges. You must always remember that Satan always attack what is good.

AVOID GREAT MISTAKE

A lot of people today have made great mistakes in the area of marriage. Some of these people have got to the point of no return. They can no longer amend what has gone wrong. However, all those who are yet to take the all important journey into marriage are very fortunate. They have the opportunity of looking before taking a plunge into marriage.

Bachelors and spinsters are very fortunate. They have the opportunity of examining all the cards that are laid on the table, before taking this important step that will determine their success or failure in life.

A good marriage, will expose you to a sort of heaven on earth while a bad one will expose you to hell on earth.

The most important factor in achieving a successful marriage is the choice you make. If you make a good choice, then you are sure that you have started on the right note. But a bad choice leaves you with a faulty foundation which will work against your marriage sooner or later.

A lot of people who are married today have discovered that the great mistakes of their lives can be traced to the choice which they made. Therefore, you must put a lot of factors into consideration if you want to enjoy your marriage.

Most of the married people around us today are still staying together because they are ashamed of the consequences of separation. They know of course, that the marriage has collapsed completely. They are only staying together because they do not want anyone to feel that all the money, time and effort which went into the marriage are wasted. They are probably afraid of what neighbours and friends would say. That is why they are still staying under the same roof.

To make a mistake in marriage is worse than living in hell. Unfortunately, many are in this situation.

A brother felt that he had prayed and took a sister to his pastor as his choice in marriage. The pastor asked to know whether the brother was really sure of what he was saying. He answered in the affirmative, and then got married after a few months. One month later, the brother ran back to the pastor saying, “Pastor, please can you grant me a divorce? I am tired of the woman whom you gave to me in marriage.” The pastor said, “I can’t understand what you are saying, divorce? That’s impossible. Don’t you know that once you are married, you are married forever? There is nothing like divorce and remarriage. If you divorce your wife, you are playing with hell fire.”

The brother said, “Oh is that a problem? Going to hell fire? That’s not a problem. I am already living in hell in my home. I don’t think there is any hell greater than what I am passing through. The woman, who I am married to is worse than the devil. I prefer to divorce her and go to

hell. I prefer to live with the devil instead of living with that woman. Allow me to get rid of the hell which my home has become. I think I would be able to cope with hell fire later,” the man said.

The pastor made him to know that the decision to marry that woman was actually his own and that he should be ready to face the consequences of the decision which he took. That is what it means to face the consequences of one’s decision.

Another brother got into an embarrassing situation when he made up his mind to marry a particular lady. What actually happened was that the lady in question came to him for counselling and prayer but the young man became fascinated and began to think of marrying her. He took the lady to the pastor to announce his intention to marry her. The young man did not discover anything while the courtship lasted. He only observed that the lady was fond of keeping her head-scarf on, all the time. He was even happy about it, thinking that the lady must be a very serious and prayerful Christian.

Their marriage plan went on without any hitch. The marriage ceremony was elaborate. The man left the church thinking that he had married a wonderful lady, When they got home, he decided to lay his hands on the head of the wife, being a member of the prayer warrior. By the time he placed his hands on her head, alas, there were two horns. When he opened his eyes, blood was dripping from his hands. The two horns had wounded him. He became confused and did not know what to do.

Here is a man who had just married a new wife. Yet, the step which he had taken became a problem rather than a pleasant experience. He continued to live with his newly wedded wife for days, weeks and months without being able to move close to her. He was always haunted by the fact that he had married a strange human being. He contemplated divorce, but knew that it was virtually impossible to think of divorcing her and taking up a new wife. He had made a choice and there was no going back. Even when he complained to his pastor, he was simply told to take it as a battle, moreover that he happened to be a member of the prayer warrior team.

People should prayerfully take their time to make a choice which they will never live to regret.

A sister also had an experience which is quite close to the one I have just narrated. When those who are not married read certain stories, they sometimes wonder whether such things can happen. But I want you to know that a lot of people go through strange experiences which they cannot disclose to anybody. Those who go through these horrible and strange experiences know that what they are passing through is real.

The sister, whose story I am narrating now, was serious and God-fearing. Instead of praying and carefully selecting her future husband, she decided to pick on just anybody because she felt that she had waited for too long. As soon as she found someone who appeared presentable, she rushed to the pastor to announce her intention to marry the man. The pastor did not want her to make a mistake so he asked her if she was sure that the step she was taking had been approved and sanctioned by God. “Yes”, she said. “I am sure of the step I am taking, I have lots of testimonies to back up my claim. I would not have come to present the man to you if I did not do my home-work thoroughly. He is God’s will for me.” She concluded.

The pastor said, “Well if you are sure that you have taken the right step, you can go ahead and marry him but I want you to remember that there is no going back once you get married. The moment you are married, you are married for life. There is no divorce and remarriage.” That was how the sister decided to go ahead with the man and the marriage was conducted. She married the man and left the church with high hopes.

However, her expectations were never fulfilled. In fact, the marriage ended up becoming a nightmare. She was shocked, and almost fainted when right before her, the man she married in the church suddenly transformed into a gorilla. She felt as if the ground should open up and swallow her. That was how her gorilla husband bounced on her and gave her marks all over her body. She could not recover from the shock for a very long time. To talk about her plight was impossible as no one would easily believe her story.

The man continued to turn into a gorilla and gave her nasty marks on her body each time they were alone. To walk out of the marriage was impossible. After all, she said that she was very sure of the decision she made. That is why it never pays to be in a hurry. Who knows, you can pick somebody like that if you decide to marry whoever you come across. You must not toy with the choice you make in the area of marriage.

THOROUGH PREPARATION

The second thing you must take note of as you prepare to get married, is that thorough preparation is necessary for a happy marriage. You must prepare adequately if you want to experience a lasting marriage relationship. You must read your Bible and find out the areas in which you have to make preparations.

I want you to learn a lesson from God. He never does anything without proper preparation. He is a God of preparation. You should also learn a lesson from the ministry of the Lord Jesus. He does not do anything without preparing for it. Wherever He would go to minister, He would send some of His disciples ahead of Him to prepare the way.

Noah also prepared when the flood was about to come upon the earth. He spent one hundred and twenty years in preparation.

John the Baptist was the forerunner of Jesus Christ. His mission was to prepare the hearts of people for the coming of the Lord Jesus Christ.

From these examples, we discover that preparation is needed, for any important thing to succeed.

The more preparation you make, the greater your chances of succeeding in marriage. You can buy a car within five minutes. You can also acquire a great property within a short time. You can take business decisions without batting an eyelid. You must know that you can not compare anything with an important decision like getting married or building a home.

Those who have attempted to rush into marriage, have only discovered that although, it is easy to rush into it, it is not so easy to jump out of it.

The foundation of marriage must be well laid for the building on it to be solid.

Marriage is not what you can jump into, through love at first sight. The Bible does not recognise such a hasty decision. You must also prepare if you want your marriage to be what God intended it to be. Jesus said, “In my father’s house there are many mansions. I go to prepare a place for you.” That statement underscores the importance of preparation before any important project is handled.

Therefore, personal preparation cannot be over emphasised. You have to make preparations in the following areas: laying the foundation for your future life, ministry, prayer, development of Christian character, learning how to cope with serious life situations, and soon.

• Relationship with God

However, the most important preparation which you need to make is in the area of your relationship with God. If you want God to be involved in your marriage, you must start a vibrant relationship with Him. Anyone who is not born again will discover sooner or later that the practical nitty-gritty of marriage cannot be handled without experiencing and receiving the power to become a child of God.

• Maturity

Another preparation which you ought to make is in the area of maturity.

You must be mature physically, emotionally, and psychologically. The Bible did not say, “Therefore, shall a boy or a girl leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife/husband.” Marriage is for mature men and women. Boys and girls are not ready for marriage.

You must be mature materially. You must have a job, a business or a trade. A man who is still sleeping on a mat in his father’s living room is not ready for marriage. A lady who has nothing doing is not prepared for marriage. Both partners must have a good source of income that will sustain the marriage and cope with the financial responsibilities involved in marriage.

You must also be spiritually mature before going into marriage. You must get yourself to a spiritual level where, at least, you will be able to pray and know whether God is saying Yes or No. The issue of marriage is so important that if it makes you a prayer warrior, it is alright. When you listen to the stories of other people, you will discover that no price can be too costly to pay in the area of prayer.

Some years ago, a man grabbed his wife, gave her a razor blade and asked her to cut herself to get some blood from her body. Initially, the woman was reluctant saying, “Why must I do so?” The husband shouted at her, “you better do it now or else I will kill you”. The woman quickly went ahead to make incisions on her body, not knowing what next to expect. The man took the blade from her hand and cut himself. He ran to the kitchen and brought a cup with which he collected some blood from her body as well as from his. He diluted the blood with wine and demanded that both of them should drink the concoction.

The woman was so afraid that she had to close her eyes to drink the mixture of blood and wine. The man also took a sip. He turned to her and said: “With this blood covenant, you are no longer free to have anything to do with any other man throughout your life. If you do so , it is instant death.” Unfortunately, the man died in a ghastly motor accident. The woman was not able to marry again because she had formed a powerful blood covenant with her late husband. She lived the rest of her life in misery and woe. She became a prisoner of a powerful blood covenant.

I pity ladies who enter into covenant with men who are not even committed to them in marriage. People also go into covenant by saying, “I love you, I will never leave you. If I leave you, let terrible things happen to me.” Such statements are hidden covenants. If you breach them, you will reap the consequences.

• Clear goals and pure motives

Another area of preparation which you will do well to look into, is in the area of clear goals and pure motive. Do not go into a relationship with a selfish motive. If your motive is selfish, God will not back you up. Don’t go into a relationship because you want to be loved. Your motive must be clear, pure and godly. You must also desire a person whose life and character will enhance your spiritual growth. If you go for someone whom you have to teach the elementary principles of the scriptures, that person may end up pulling you down.

I remember the story of a sister who wanted to marry someone whose spiritual life was below expectation. I told her that I would like to see her prospective husband. At least I wanted to pray with both of them. When the sister invited the man, the man became furious and refused to come. He told the sister, “I don’t understand what you are saying. I don’t have any business with any pastor. All I want is to get married to you.” The sister tried her best to persuade the man but he refused. The sister narrated her experience to me and I started to wonder why the man bluntly refused to come and see me.

I asked the sister, “Are you sure that this man is a child of God. Why is he against prayer?” The sister said, “I believe that he is born again. He actually told me that he has been a Christian for twelve years.” I told her that I would still go ahead to pray and check things up with the Lord. When I prayed, I was baffled by what I saw: I saw a very tall sister dragging a baby in three piece suit to the altar. Then, it dawned on me that they were going to have problems with their marriage. I told her what I saw. But she assured me that she was sure of what she was doing and that she has prayed about the man.

They eventually got married and the sister discovered that she had walked into a dangerous relationship. As soon as they settled down to enjoy the new marriage, the man began to behave in a funny manner. He started by shouting at her. Then he began to give her occasional slaps. “Before she knew what was happening, he began to threaten her with a gun. That was how the woman continued to live in fear day in, day out. Things became so bad one day, that a Christian brother had to rush in to their house to prevent the man from shooting the sister. The man actually fired the gun, but it narrowly missed the ear of the brother who went to separate them.

The peace maker brother ran to me gasping for breath. He said, “Is that how people die? G. O., I almost lost my life today. I went to the house of brother and sister so and so. The husband fired a shot which almost blew up my head. I have never seen that kind of a thing before.” Later, the wife ran to me to narrate her ordeal. That was how it became clear to her that she had actually taken the wrong step. She had no option but to carry a cross which God never meant for her. I had to give her some prayer points and anointing oil so that she can experience some measure of peace in her home. I warned her but she thought she knew what she was doing. Her decision to marry somebody who was of a lower spiritual status bounced back on her.

• Prayer

Another area that needs proper preparation, is prayer. Marriage is a life long issue. It requires the best prayer effort that can be given to it. You must take the time to handle every area of your marital life with prayer. You must pray about your choice, your spouse, your future, home, children, relationship with your spouse and your common goals.

• Hospitality

One of the things that ensures success in marriage is hospitality. If you are not hospitable caring and friendly, you are not ready for marriage. A man or woman who is unfriendly, quarrelsome and selfish, cannot make a good husband or wife. Those who decide to have nothing to do with others as well as those who say that they have no time for other people are not prepared for marriage. If you excuse your short comings by calling yourself an introvert, you are merely deceiving yourself. You are only covering up the deficiencies in your character.

• Don’t Be In A Hurry

An African proverb says: “Never be in a hurry to lick a hot soup.” If you do so, it will scorch your tongue and you may never enjoy the soup. “Slow and steady”, they say “wins the race.” Those who are in a hurry, generally make serious mistakes. The Bible says, “He that believeth shall not make haste.” If you build your house in a hurry, you must be ready to face the consequences should it collapse on your head. You must not be in a hurry in situations that are of eternal consequence.

After taking care of the preliminary preparations necessary for a successful marriage, you must go ahead to consider the prayer strategy that must be put in place to obtain your God-given partner. The moment you are ready to pray, you will receive the person whom God made for you as your partner. You must know the prayer steps to take.

How do you pray this kind of prayer? The kind of prayer I am referring to is different from the regular prayer you pray in other areas of life. Praying to know God’s will in marriage differs significantly from the prayer of deliverance. This kind of prayer can be likened to a diving magnet which is used to fish out your own particular spouse.

It is not proper to lump this prayer with other general prayers in life. To take this prayer only when you have finished general prayers is to demonstrate your lack of seriousness concerning the issue of marriage. To make the prayer of the choice of your partner in marriage as a mere appendage during your regular quiet time is to give the impression that it is an insignificant item. That kind of attitude will make you an easy prey for the devil.

Some people hold night vigils because of the problems in other areas of their lives but do not think of giving the issue of marriage much attention. Unknown to such people, they are neglecting a weighty matter that has eternal consequences. Do you know that apart from your spiritual life, the next most important thing is your marriage.

You need to pray aggressively concerning your marriage because a lot of forces are fighting against marriage. A lot of people have discovered that some powers have been giving them serious problems in the area of marriage. Each time such people make up their mind to marry, something suddenly comes upon them and makes them to be completely disenchanted about the whole issue. One moment, they are excited about getting married to a particular person, the next moment, they find themselves hating the person. Then the relationship is dissolved. Another one is started only for the same problem to reoccur again.

That kind of situation continues time and again until the person decides to give up the thought of ever getting married again. That kind of situation can only be handled through aggressive prayer. In fact, it takes deliverance prayers to handle such a tough case.

HOW TO PRAY IN KNOWING GOD’S WILL IN MARRIAGE

What then are the general steps to be taken, in order to pray to know God’s will in marriage?

• Allocate a specific time to it

You must not handle this kind of prayer hapharzardly. You must be definite about it. For example, if you can choose a particular day of the week when you devote an ample time to pray about the issue of marriage, you will achieve wonderful results. Such an allocated time must be regular. Marriage is so important that apportioning one day to it is a wise investment. From that particular day, you will focus on the issue of marriage and give less thought to other areas of life.

That reminds me of what somebody said: “What is good needs prayer so that it does not become bad. What is bad needs prayer so that it does not become worse. What is barely okay needs prayer so that it can be taken to the maximum level.” You must therefore, withdraw your prayer concerning marriage from the general list.

• Relax and focus your attention on God

This kind of prayer cannot be handled with a divided heart. The prayer that will magnetize your correct partner to you cannot be handled with levity. You cannot handle it with a divided mind or with a heart that is filled with anxiety and doubt. It is not a prayer to be prayed only when somebody else’s marriage is announced. To handle that kind of prayer when you are sad, discouraged and tensed up is to start on a wrong note. To shed some kind of crocodile tears while handling this issue is to be involved with some kind of satanic entertainment.

The Bible says, “Be still and know that I am God.” If you pray while your heart is not settled, you will make mistakes. When you are burdened, discouraged, sad, despondent and faithless, you will not pray effectively. You must take certain steps, to overcome the initial hindrances.

You must recognize the fact that God wants you to be still before Him. Let me give you some hints on what you can do, to maintain a proper focus when handling the issue of marriage in prayer.

• Praise and worship

Praise and worship ushers you into the presence of God and makes you to focus.

• Meditate upon the word of God

The word of God shifts your attention away from worry and anxiety and places your heart on

the promises of God.

• Meditate on God’s sufficiency and greatness

Look away from your mountain and concentrate on God’s mightiness.

• Submit your mind to God

It takes a lot of discipline, to submit one’s mind unto God. Once you are able to cultivate the habit of keeping your mind focused on God, it becomes part of you. If you make use of these four methods, you will be able to pray without distraction. You must therefore give adequate time to speak to God.

• Confess any sin which the Holy Spirit is convicting you of and receive God’s forgiveness

Do not sweep anything under the carpet. Seek the assistance of the Holy Spirit for whatever you know you have done wrong. You must also go ahead to forgive everyone who has offended you, no matter how painful the offences were. Jesus said: “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive all those who trespass against us.”

You cannot handle this kind of prayer successfully while you are still holding grudges against those who have offended you. But when you confess your sins, receive forgiveness from God and go ahead to forgive all those who have offended you then, you have a pure heart before God and you are ready to receive from Him. If you neglect this third factor, you may not be able to receive answer from God.

The devil knows that, if you scale through the area of marriage, you are going to become a thorn in his flesh and will not allow him any rest. So, he will look for ways of hindering you. Once there is a legal reason, satan will petition God by pointing at facts like unconfessed sins and lack of forgiveness in your life. If the petition is based on legal reasons, it may work against you.

• Pray for the Holy Spirit to fill you and overflow

It is easier for a man or a woman who is filled with the Holy Spirit to receive a clear information or direction from God.. If you have not yet received the baptism of the Holy Spirit, you must pray for the experience. Don’t go into marriage without being filled with the Holy Ghost. You may be looking for a serious trouble as there are many tough areas of marriage which someone who is not Spiritfilled cannot handle.

The Bible says: “For we know not what to pray for. The Spirit himself helpeth our infirmities with groanings that cannot be uttered” (Rom.8:26).

This passage shows us that the human mind is not capable of knowing how to approach prayer perfectly. When you are Spiritfilled, you find it easy to pray correctly. For example, you can pray in tongues concerning your marriage.

• Cover yourself with the blood of Jesus and proclaim the Lordship of the Lord over your life

When you begin to pray about marriage, you are getting into a very important area which the devil will try very hard to fight against. You cannot pray about marriage without attracting hostility from the camp of the devil. That is why, you have to cover yourself with the blood of Jesus.

• Expect God to speak to you

You must be expectant. That places the responsibility of waiting, upon you. The Bible says, “My soul, wait thou only upon God. For my expectation is from him.” (Psalm 62:5). This kind of prayer cannot be approached with the “hit and run” method. You may not hear anything for a week or a month, you must wait all the same. Don’t be discouraged. You cannot pressurize God or coerce Him to dance to your tune, He will speak to you in His own way and at His own time.

However, you must remember that there are three types of voice: the voice of God, the voice of the devil and your own voice. But the moment you have covered yourself with the blood of Jesus and proclaimed the lordship of Jesus upon your life, the devil will not be able to speak to you.

• Be determined

Stick to your prayers, no matter the problem that may arise. You must refuse to give up. Do not rest, until you know that you have received your desired breakthrough. Make sure that you actually get to a point when you have not only got answers but when you have also secured an overwhelming peace.

In other words, pray until the peace of God settles in your life. If that peace does not settle in your heart you have to continue praying. Don’t allow anything to discourage you. You may see conflicting visions. There are days when prayer will look like a difficult task. Continue to pray, all the same. Remember that prayer is hard work. Nobody has a natural likeness for prayer. Be persistent. Your miracle may be around the corner. Be determined. Refuse to give up at the edge of your miracle.

• Deliberately refuse to worry

You cannot get any result by worrying. Worry and anxiety negate faith and show lack of confidence in God.

• Support your prayer with fasting

Fasting energises prayer. It makes your spirit sharper. If you are able to fulfil these

conditions, then, you are ready to take the prayer points. The prayer points which are written below have produced wonderful results. Many people who were bachelors and spinsters before used these prayer points and they are married today. If you can take the prayer points with all seriousness, you will experience the same result.

PRAYER POINTS

1. O Lord, let Your perfect will be fulfilled in my life, in the name of Jesus.

2. O Lord, magnetize my divinely ordained partner to me and keep all the others away in the name of Jesus.

3. I refuse to cooperate with any anti-marriage curse and covenant, in the name of Jesus.

4. I cancel, every bewitchment, fashioned against my settling down in marriage, in the name of Jesus.

5. I cancel, every spiritual wedding, conducted consciously or unconsciously on my behalf, in the name of Jesus.